The sister wound lives and breathes in us all. It is the sneaky and sh*tty acting force that tells us we don’t belong with others.
I’m too much.
I’m too ugly..
I’m too busy.
They won’t like me.
I don’t have anything to give.
I can’t trust women.
Hey there, soulful sisters! Today, we're diving into the sacred journey of healing the sister wound. You know, that pesky little patriarchal force that tries to tell us we don't belong with others, leaving us with thoughts like "I'm too much," "I'm too anxious," or "They won't like me." Well, guess what? We're flipping the script and embracing our authentic selves with all our quirks and superpowers!
Picture this: You're about to join a new group ( be it a mama and baby class, a new team at work, or are heading to a women’s retreat in costa Rica), but that sneaky sister wound convinces you that you won't fit in and robs you of your excitement and joy!
The sister wound convinces you that you won’t fit in with a new group of women. It is the reason we automatically make comparisons between ourselves and others. It’s the voice that tells us we aren’t good enough , we aren’t pretty enough, and there is NO way we’ll ever be as successful as SHE is.
It is the reason we have all been bullied by female school-mates, co-workers, or even family members. Remember those days of adolescent hierarchies, hazing, and gossip? Yeah, we've all been there, sister. I know I was - I still recall in gross detail the way one older girl at school shamed me and called me a slut to my face, and in front of everyone in the halls at school when I was in grade 10…
The sister wound conditions us to engage in competition at a young age.
Girls are not given the initiation of belonging and power that we would have received before the patriarchy. They’re given an initiation of disembodiment and shame. We can trace this back to the onset of Patriarchy where feminine power was abused and mis-used. There were times where women, known as the High Priestess at the time, abused their feminine power and used others (men and women) to feed their power. And there were times where the Feminine was abused. Where powerful High Priests were disconnected from their hearts and feelings and enslaved and abused the feminine.
Both of these movements generated a backlash - Patriarchy which seeks to shut down and condemn the feminine. Women and all related to women such as menstruation, dancing, singing, feminine power, feminine pleasure and wildness were judged as sinful. What was your first period like?
All of these things led to women having to fight for and defend themselves. In that process of trying to protect themselves, women started turning on one another. They were pitted against one another and forced into betraying other women in order to fight for their life.
But, you still want to make new friends now…as an adult.
We all want deep, meaningful relationships with other women, but it’s f*cking hard! Not only are we all so busy, and technology doesn’t help bridge any gaps; but for many of us deep down, we continue to believe we aren't even worthy of sisterhood.
Let me take you back to a time when sisterhood was woven into the very fabric of community life. Picture a village where our women knew the magic of their unique gifts and talents, using them to uplift the whole tribe. Healers, midwives, artists, herbalists – each woman embraced her calling with pride, knowing that her power was an essential thread in the tapestry of life.
In this world, fitting in with the group was a cause for celebration, not a reason for envy or resentment. Can you imagine the joy of knowing that your contributions were valued, just as they were? No pressure to do it all or have it all – life was beautifully simple because we were intimately connected to our bodies and the nurturing embrace of the land.
Let's take a page from our ancestral book of wisdom. Let's return to that simpler time, where the power of community and our connection to the land nurtured our souls. With open hearts and arms, let us walk this path of sisterhood together, where we celebrate each other's magic and find strength in our collective spirit.
Now, if you're feeling the call to attend a women's circle, you're already on the path to healing. Embrace it!
Last week in my Breathe Alchemy Circle, (my virtual breathwork community) we did a very deep, very profound breathwork practice where we did a deep visualization about the sister wound.
I asked the women to recall a time in recent past where they felt the sister wound come to the surface. Now, we can experience the sister wound with any female in our life whether it's our mother, our blood sisters, our friends, co-workers, the collective.
As they were recalling the instance, the memory, I asked them not to just go back to that memory, but to really feel the sensations in the body around what they felt in that moment, what they felt in that experience and that interaction.
And then we moved deeper into the body to recall that same sensation in an experience with a woman or girl from earlier life or childhood. Because what the sister would really is all about is a lot of old trauma, old pain, old experiences from when we're young and we don't feel supported by other women or other girls. This old pain resurfaces and those emotions create stories about other women today.
We then moved on to craft ways to forgive and create new ways of thinking and being.
So, there are a lot of different ways that we can work to heal the sister wound. If you want to get started today, the first thing is simply to become aware of it. I encourage you to just lean in. Observe yourself, observe your relationships with women and see where you might feel your inner little girl rise to the surface when you feel uncomfortable in a situation with another woman and just start nurturing her! Speak to yourself like you would speak to that little girl, just reminding her that she's perfect.
Let's rise together! Let's reclaim our power and rewrite the narrative of sisterhood.
Want to learn how breathwork truly can be the hidden secret to YOUR healing? Join my upcoming 3 month virtual Breathe Alchemy Circle and start your journey today!
Stay tuned to my instagram and here on the podcast and blog for details about my upcoming Healing the Sister Wound Circle!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for educational purposes only. Please consult with a qualified professional before implementing any breathwork or nervous system regulation techniques. Breathe responsibly and rock on!
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