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What Happens When You Sit at the Table Before You Feel Ready
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
I’m writing this week fresh off a four-day retreat in Costa Rica; and I feel unexpectedly inspired, stretched, and deeply grounded all at once.
(I also landed back in Canada just soon enough to see my mama out of heart surgery [her second one; and she's doing great!] and for me to be leveled by a stomach bug for 36 hours [I'm improving]) 🤮💖🙏
During this retreat, titled "Found|HER", I spent four days with 45+ professional real estate agents and female leaders, and I was humbled to be invited as a speaker- including sitting on a panel alongside five powerhouse women.
Before I share what I learned, I want to start with the part that immediately pushed me out of my comfort zone.
Comfort Zones Are Overrated Anyway Back in October, I found out that not only would I have a roommate at this retreat - I’d be sharing a king-size bed with another speaker I’d met only briefly in passing.
I won’t lie: I laughed, panicked, resisted… and then surrendered.
All six speakers openly shared our discomfort around the close quarters. But what unfolded was something I didn’t expect: trust, ease, and a sense of shared humanity that cracked us open right from day one.
We were staying in a mountaintop villa in Las Catalinas; six speakers, two organizers, and retreat attendees moving through three full days of workshops, breathwork sessions, group meals, and honest conversations.
What I thought might require rigid boundaries actually turned into one of the most nourishing professional environments I’ve been in.
Sitting at the Table with Powerhouse Women Going into the panel, I’ll be honest; I felt small.
Two executive coaches.A psychologist who’s worked with NASA.A retired nurse turned hypnotherapist and breathworker with decades of experience.
In my head, I placed myself well below them. But during the closing Q&A, something surprising happened.
Three of the five other speakers shared that some of their most transformational moments came from my workshops. Many attendees echoed the same; that breathwork was among the deepest work they’d ever experienced.
That moment shifted something in me.
Not because of validation; but because it reminded me that belonging isn’t about hierarchy. It’s about resonance.
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The above photo is of the speakers and our soul sister who made the retreat happen - Tina Caul the visionary and founder. So much gratitude to this queen for her willingness to take this group out of their minds and into their bodies with myself and my roomie and soul sister for the weekend, Rene Brent.
Rene and I were paired together because we’re both a little hippy-dippy; and we ended up tag-teaming the "Body" day of the Found |HER weekend that was structured intentionally: one day devoted to body, one to mind, and one to business.
My session focused on nourishing the woman who leads; inviting participants to reflect on their relationship with food and body, and how patterns of nourishment, restriction, or permission around food and pleasure often mirror how we show up across life and leadership. That flowed directly into a breathwork session themed around safety.
Rene kicked off the day beautifully with inner child work, guiding the group through a visualization to connect with that younger part of themselves. It set the tone in the best way possible, grounding women in their bodies and emotional landscape before moving into deeper mindset and strategy work.
Because, in my experience, mindset work without embodiment - without the nervous system on board - only goes so far.
Expanding Capacity, Not Chasing Outcomes
One of the most impactful sessions for me was led by Kristyn Drennen, who taught on meta-performance - the idea that the next level of leadership isn’t about doing more, but becoming more.
She asked me to envision an “impossible future” - one so big it felt uncomfortable to even name.
That’s when it landed:
I’ve been setting goals inside a safe zone.
Not small goals - but safe ones.
Kristen teaches that:
High performers focus on execution and results
Meta-performers focus on identity and capacity
Instead of asking “What do I need to do next?”The real question becomes:“Who do I need to be for this to become inevitable?” BOOM.
She broke progress down simply:
Vision creates discipline
Mindset creates resilience
Strategy creates focus
I left that session committed to expanding my capacity to hold abundance, not just chasing it - and I’ve already started working on a five-year vision that feels big enough to make me uncomfortable.
Defense Mechanisms, Triggers & Leadership Myths
Another powerful session came from Dr. Stephanie Lopez, who spoke about how we become defensive when we feel:
Insignificant
Incompetent
Unlikable
Our nervous systems jump in to protect us — often through archetypal defense patterns that feel automatic, but quietly hold us back.
This theme was echoed again in Dawn Neldon of MPWR Coaching’s workshop, where we explored:
How we react when our errors are pointed out (hello, deflection)
How overwhelm can lead to shutdown
How comparison is often rooted in perceived scarcity, not truth
Seeing these patterns so clearly helped me recognize how often self-protection disguises itself as productivity or control.
Finally, Joanna Wiesiniger led a session on leadership myths - including:
Leaders are supposed to fix what’s wrong
Strengths will take care of themselves
Successful leaders are well-rounded
(All myths.)
We completed our CliftonStrengths assessment, where my top strengths came through loud and clear:
Arranger, Activator, Woo, Achiever, and Belief.
It felt grounding - and affirming - to see my natural leadership style reflected back without needing to change or “round myself out.”
What I’m Carrying Forward
This retreat reminded me that:
Growth often comes before confidence
Expansion requires discomfort
And sometimes, sitting at the table before you feel ready is exactly the initiation you need
I came home more inspired than I expected; not because I learned something new, but because I remembered something essential about myself.
And that’s always the real work, isn’t it?
🎙️ New Podcast Episode: Web Design for Realtors: Branding That Doesn’t Blend In (And Why It Matters More Than Ever)If you’ve been listening for a while, you know I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all marketing advice.Digital branding works differently for every industry - yet most advice online treats realtors, coaches, creatives, and service providers like they’re all building the same business.
So I’m doing something new. I’m releasing a short series of episodes where I break down digital marketing and branding by industry, starting with real estate (because well, you know)
In this episode, I talk about:
🎧 Listen to this week’s episode here. 📖 Or read the blog version
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