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Rebel Soul Media Musings

I Almost Filed for Bankruptcy. Again.

    I’m so grateful you’re here.

     

    This email list has changed a lot over the last few years - just like I have.

     

    Some of you have been here since Costa Rica. Since plant medicine circles and full spiritual immersion. Others joined when I started speaking more openly about my beliefs, my values, and the uncomfortable opinions that don’t always fit neatly inside the wellness world.

     

    What I haven’t shared much about are the harder parts.

     

    This April marks three years since we moved back to Canada. Three years since I left what many people called a “dream life” in Costa Rica and returned to small-town Ontario with a nine-month-old baby (a man, a 3 year old and a dog too) and a résumé that didn’t exactly translate.

     

    You can’t exactly put “worked in plant medicine for a decade” on LinkedIn and expect recruiters to understand.

     

    When we moved home, we burned through savings faster than we expected. Unexpected expenses. Debt that piled up quietly. The reality of rebuilding from scratch while raising babies.

     

    Just a year ago, I was considering filing for personal bankruptcy.

    Again.

     

    I don’t love saying that out loud. But it’s true.

    I filed once at 29. I know the systems exist for a reason.

    I know shame helps no one. But still; it hits your ego.

     

    Here’s what I’ve come to understand:

    The true through-line of my life isn’t television. It isn’t plant medicine. It isn’t wellness. It isn’t digital marketing.

     

    It’s this:

    I do not compromise my integrity for very long.

     

    When television stopped feeling aligned, I left at the peak of my career.

    When Costa Rica; as beautiful as it was; stopped feeling honest for me, I left that too.

     

    Each time people thought I was crazy.

     

    And yet.

    Right now? Financially, we’re doing better than we have in years. Better than Costa Rica.

     

    But I’m not chasing a million-dollar home. I’m not trying to prove anything.

    I’m happy in our 1,100 square foot renovated military house in a half-abandoned village.

     

    Because somewhere along the way, I stopped using other people’s lives as my measuring stick.

     

    That’s the pivot.

    And here’s where this matters for you - especially if you’re an entrepreneur.

     

    It is so easy to start measuring your progress against someone else’s highlight reel.

     

    Their revenue months. Their launches. Their new house. Their rebrand. Their team. Their “overnight” success.

     

    But if you build your business by constantly reacting to what everyone else is doing, you will lose the thread of your own integrity.

     

    Entrepreneurship requires blinders.

    It requires keeping your head down long enough to hear your own voice again.

     

    It requires asking:What do I actually want? What feels honest for my nervous system? What version of success can I sustain?

     

    The Power of the Pivot isn’t about impulsively blowing up your life.

    It’s about refusing to stay misaligned for too long.

    It’s about adjusting before resentment calcifies.It’s about redefining success before burnout defines it for you.

     

    May this be your reminder:

    Whatever everyone else is doing does not get to be the barometer for your joy.

    Or your business. Or your mission. Or your timeline.

     

    Keep your blinders on.

    Build slowly if you need to. Pivot boldly if you must.

     

    But do it because it’s true for you - not because it looks good from the outside.

     

    P.S. I am re-launching my most popular embodiment program... details will be announced soon.

     

    If you want to be in a room full of women who don’t wait for permission, who act as if, who normalize expansion before it makes sense on paper; this is your invitation.


    What Happens When You Sit at the Table Before You Feel Ready

      I’m writing this week fresh off a four-day retreat in Costa Rica; and I feel unexpectedly inspired, stretched, and deeply grounded all at once.

       

      (I also landed back in Canada just soon enough to see my mama out of heart surgery [her second one; and she's doing great!] and for me to be leveled by a stomach bug for 36 hours [I'm improving]) 🤮💖🙏

       

      During this retreat, titled "Found|HER", I spent four days with 45+ professional real estate agents and female leaders, and I was humbled to be invited as a speaker- including sitting on a panel alongside five powerhouse women.

       

      Before I share what I learned, I want to start with the part that immediately pushed me out of my comfort zone.

       

      Comfort Zones Are Overrated Anyway

      Back in October, I found out that not only would I have a roommate at this retreat - I’d be sharing a king-size bed with another speaker I’d met only briefly in passing.

       

      I won’t lie: I laughed, panicked, resisted… and then surrendered.

       

      All six speakers openly shared our discomfort around the close quarters. But what unfolded was something I didn’t expect: trust, ease, and a sense of shared humanity that cracked us open right from day one.

       

      We were staying in a mountaintop villa in Las Catalinas; six speakers, two organizers, and retreat attendees moving through three full days of workshops, breathwork sessions, group meals, and honest conversations.

       

      What I thought might require rigid boundaries actually turned into one of the most nourishing professional environments I’ve been in.

       

      Sitting at the Table with Powerhouse Women

      Going into the panel, I’ll be honest; I felt small.

       

      Two executive coaches.A psychologist who’s worked with NASA.A retired nurse turned hypnotherapist and breathworker with decades of experience.

       

      In my head, I placed myself well below them.

      But during the closing Q&A, something surprising happened.

       

      Three of the five other speakers shared that some of their most transformational moments came from my workshops. Many attendees echoed the same; that breathwork was among the deepest work they’d ever experienced.

       

      That moment shifted something in me.

       

      Not because of validation; but because it reminded me that belonging isn’t about hierarchy. It’s about resonance.

       

      The above photo is of the speakers and our soul sister who made the retreat happen - Tina Caul the visionary and founder. So much gratitude to this queen for her willingness to take this group out of their minds and into their bodies with myself and my roomie and soul sister for the weekend, Rene Brent.

       

      Rene and I were paired together because we’re both a little hippy-dippy; and we ended up tag-teaming the "Body" day of the Found |HER weekend that was structured intentionally: one day devoted to body, one to mind, and one to business.

       

      My session focused on nourishing the woman who leads; inviting participants to reflect on their relationship with food and body, and how patterns of nourishment, restriction, or permission around food and pleasure often mirror how we show up across life and leadership. That flowed directly into a breathwork session themed around safety.

       

      Rene kicked off the day beautifully with inner child work, guiding the group through a visualization to connect with that younger part of themselves. It set the tone in the best way possible, grounding women in their bodies and emotional landscape before moving into deeper mindset and strategy work.

       

      Because, in my experience, mindset work without embodiment - without the nervous system on board - only goes so far.

       

      Expanding Capacity, Not Chasing Outcomes

      One of the most impactful sessions for me was led by Kristyn Drennen, who taught on meta-performance - the idea that the next level of leadership isn’t about doing more, but becoming more.

       

      She asked me to envision an “impossible future” - one so big it felt uncomfortable to even name.

       

      That’s when it landed:

      I’ve been setting goals inside a safe zone.

      Not small goals - but safe ones.

       

      Kristen teaches that:

      • High performers focus on execution and results

      • Meta-performers focus on identity and capacity

       

      Instead of asking “What do I need to do next?”The real question becomes:“Who do I need to be for this to become inevitable?” BOOM.

       

      She broke progress down simply:

      • Vision creates discipline

      • Mindset creates resilience

      • Strategy creates focus

       

      I left that session committed to expanding my capacity to hold abundance, not just chasing it - and I’ve already started working on a five-year vision that feels big enough to make me uncomfortable.

       

      Defense Mechanisms, Triggers & Leadership Myths

      Another powerful session came from Dr. Stephanie Lopez, who spoke about how we become defensive when we feel:

      • Insignificant

      • Incompetent

      • Unlikable

       

      Our nervous systems jump in to protect us — often through archetypal defense patterns that feel automatic, but quietly hold us back.

       

      This theme was echoed again in Dawn Neldon of MPWR Coaching’s workshop, where we explored:

      • How we react when our errors are pointed out (hello, deflection)

      • How overwhelm can lead to shutdown

      • How comparison is often rooted in perceived scarcity, not truth

       

      Seeing these patterns so clearly helped me recognize how often self-protection disguises itself as productivity or control.

       

      Finally, Joanna Wiesiniger led a session on leadership myths - including:

      • Leaders are supposed to fix what’s wrong

      • Strengths will take care of themselves

      • Successful leaders are well-rounded

      (All myths.)

       

      We completed our CliftonStrengths assessment, where my top strengths came through loud and clear:

      Arranger, Activator, Woo, Achiever, and Belief.

       

      It felt grounding - and affirming - to see my natural leadership style reflected back without needing to change or “round myself out.”

       

      What I’m Carrying Forward

      This retreat reminded me that:

      • Growth often comes before confidence

      • Expansion requires discomfort

      • And sometimes, sitting at the table before you feel ready is exactly the initiation you need

       

      I came home more inspired than I expected; not because I learned something new, but because I remembered something essential about myself.

       

      And that’s always the real work, isn’t it?


      🎙️ New Podcast Episode: Web Design for Realtors: Branding That Doesn’t Blend In (And Why It Matters More Than Ever)

       

      If you’ve been listening for a while, you know I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all marketing advice.

       

      Digital branding works differently for every industry - yet most advice online treats realtors, coaches, creatives, and service providers like they’re all building the same business.

       

      So I’m doing something new.

      I’m releasing a short series of episodes where I break down digital marketing and branding by industry, starting with real estate (because well, you know)

       

      In this episode, I talk about:

      • Why most realtor brands blend in online

      • The difference between brokerage branding and your personal brand

      • Why web design for realtors matters more than ever

      • Simple Instagram tips for real estate agents who want visibility without spammy posting

       

      🎧 Listen to this week’s episode here. 📖 Or read the blog version 

       

      Join the Rebel Soul Media Membership Group!

      Make sure you are subscribed to my newsletter too.


      The part of entrepreneurship no one prepares you for...

        Over the past 2 months, I've found myself at three different events; all filled with women who are building businesses in their own way. Somewhere between 30 and 50 women in each room. Coaches. Creatives. Consultants. Founders. Leaders.

         

        Different industries. Different stages.

        Same thread.

         

        Every single one of them was excellent at what they do.

        And what became clearer than ever is this:

         

        The deeper you go in business, the more your personal practice has to expand with you.

         

        Not because you’re “broken.”Not because you need fixing.But because growth requires capacity.

        Capacity to make decisions faster.Capacity to be seen.Capacity to tolerate uncertainty.Capacity to stay regulated when things feel edgy, quiet, or wildly expansive.

         

        This is the part of entrepreneurship that doesn’t get talked about enough.

        We often separate “business strategy” from “personal development,” as if one lives neatly in spreadsheets and the other belongs on a yoga mat.

         

        But in reality, they are deeply intertwined.

         

        Your identity shows up in what you don’t do as much as what you do.

         

        Personal branding is personal development.

        Because your brand is not just what you say.It’s what you’re able to hold.It’s how consistently you show up.It’s how you respond when no one is watching. 

        It’s whether your actions match the version of yourself you say you’re becoming.

         

        And here’s the mindset shift that trips up a lot of new entrepreneurs:

        You don’t “wait until it feels real” to show up.

        You show up so that it becomes real.

         

        Which means—yes—sometimes sitting down at your computer when inspiration is nowhere to be found. 

        Treating your work like work, even when you love it. 

        Building structure before motivation. 

        Letting your identity catch up to your actions, not the other way around.

         

        This is exactly what I unpack in the latest episode of the podcast.... read on below!




        🎙️ New Podcast Episode: Wanting an Online Business Isn’t Enough: The Mindset Shift Most New Entrepreneurs Skip

         

        Wanting an online business isn’t enough.

         

        This week on the podcast, Analog Girls, Digital World, I’m unpacking the mindset shift most people quietly avoid when they say they want to move their work online.

         

        Because here’s what I see every single week with new digital entrepreneurs:They want freedom.They want flexibility.They want the online version of their in-person work to magically take off.

         

        But wanting it, visualizing it, journaling about it; none of that replaces the moment where you actually sit down, open your laptop, and treat your digital work like something that matters.

         

        In this episode, I share:

        • Why digital businesses fail when they’re treated like hobbies

        • What I learned transitioning from Costa Rica to Canada and building Breath Alchemy Circle online

        • The uncomfortable truth about consistency, structure, and showing up when you’re not inspired

        • Why belief without action keeps people stuck

        • And how selling becomes easier when you actually understand and respect the work you’re doing

         

        🎧 Listen to this week’s episode:Wanting an Online Successful Business Isn’t Enough: The Mindset Shift Most People Avoid here. 


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